Jonah Hex

The summer is supposed to be "Blockbuster Season." You wouldn't have known that from Summer 2010. Aside from Toy Story 3, Inception, and the Expendables (although I've heard disagreement about the latter), everything underperformed and was underwhelming. Prince of Persia AND Sex & the City/Shrek sequels? Kids are on summer break, let's not make them wish they were in school, eh?

And right in the middle of the "Oooh, loud noises, pretty colors, and that's it" movie tour is Jonah Hex. Jonah was in the Confederate Army until he pissed off Quentin Turnbull (Malkovich), his commanding officer, who then killed his family and disfigured his face. Native Americans saved him from death and as a result he can speak to dead people and ravens follow him around. Now Jonah has to stop Turnbull from attacking America's centennial celebration. Also Megan Fox is somehow involved.

Liked:

-It was 82 minutes.

-It was fun to continuously say we're getting "hexed" by how good the movie is. 

-Lance Reddick cameo!

Disliked:

-Did it seem like I could have gone into more detail about Megan Fox's role? Because I couldn't. She's just sort of thrown into the movie as a hooker who knows/is in love with Hex. Then she's gone for about 40 minutes. Then she's back and captured. Clearly the writers stayed up late coming up with her part.

-The movie is set in 1876 in the west, yet all the music is hard modern rock. 

-For some reason Jonah Hex gets a dog somewhere during the movie.

-Wes Bentley seemed like he was poised for greatness after American Beauty. Greatness, thy name is Hex.

-Wild Wild West was set in the old west and featured a villain creating a giant metal contraption with technology that didn't exist at the time. I guess the "7 year recycling" rule applies to movies as well.

-Just because you're deformed doesn't mean you have to grit your teeth when you talk. Open your mouth, Jonah. 

To sum it up (in 20 words or less):

Just because it's a comic doesn't mean it has to be a shitty summer movie too.